When I talk about having a mature relationship with my parents, it is really a process of seeing them as human. My parents’ opinion was only theirs; there is another world out there – I may see the whole situation differently. They are not the people who define me.
Painful feelings toward my parents are natural. When I learn that my parents do not die from my anger and that I do not lose the love relationship with my parents because of negative feelings, then being dependent in intimate relationships later in life becomes less threatening. If the love and hate are not understood and accommodated within this deep parent/child relationship, later intimate relationships that arouse feelings of dependency will seem frightening.
Anger toward the parent is as natural as love toward the parent, and this is true of any deep relationship.
I can live with both the love and hate that are part of deep dependent relationships.
Let my heart be wise. It is the god’s best gift.